I AM ERIC . . . STORY
Bergan County, New Jersey 1980's

My life experience has been a Sympathetic Resonance to my direct Earth experience from birth. Learning what this means has been my entire life. My white supremacist father pushed me over all limits starting to work nights, after my mom gave me her Native Puerto Rican Name. Fighting this American Machine was who I was, born American, as American. Thus, I was asked to post this note to a Crystal Indigo kids Yahoo email list when my own children had left. I started with

From: "erix"
Date: Sun Dec 7, 2003 8:16 pm
Subject: Re: [starchildawakening] Re: storytime/long story

MY Background, who am I? "I am eric…" . . . a.a.a.a . . .
I AM ERIC aaaa;
I am a m e r i c a;
I am AMERICA!

I AM that I AM... what does this really mean? Of course, it's never been that easy. I've abbreviated this story before and describe what's important for people to know, but that was never clear. This time I will explain everything . . . . please use some discernment, no judgement!

Last year, 2 weeks after my sweet sixteenth birthday, I was doing about 90mph to avoid a cop, when the motorcycle slid out from under me as I took a turn.  I went flying, as the bike bounced. Two cops from neighboring towns nearly collided as they watched the motorcycle hit a curb and fly up to wrap around some power cables.

Lucky for me; I bounced across a parking lot, with no helmet! I threw that at the cop miles back .... so I ended up totally black and blue, no broken bones, but a cracked head and unconscious with a coma for a month in the hospital. I did not want to come back to Earth!?

When I returned from death to school that summer, the principal said that if "some explosives from the chemistry lab could be returned to his office," he would have me re-admitted. I figured that would be good for business, school was all a business to me, being a master of man's capitalistic control from the start. I knew one kid who broke into a train car to get hand grenades, and another kid who made his own nitroglycerin, so I wouldn't miss any high school chemicals.

But with this accident I had finally been caught. The cops wanted to try me as an adult, (never been done before to a minor in NJ at that time). My upper class dad had the mayor and the chief of police living down the street, and the president of the Lions Club next door. He got an attorney to get me off, sending me to a psychologist instead or prison.

The cops knew everything then. The bike was hot, and all the gear on it came from a bank down the road. Still as I was resting behind a school when a cop drove up to chat, I had to FLY OFF, stupid move that ended in the mean accident!

Nothing was real for me until school started. Now, I noticed there were alarms and windows locks. But still worse was walking out into the hallway as a GHOST, between classes now after my infamous accident. For years my prime business hours were in the hallways between classes, but now suddenly things had turned. Now, as I walked out into the hallway, the sea of people just parted before me.

Wow, I never remembered anything of the accident or coma, as nothing much phased me! But now I was really a ghost, no one would talk to me, no one dared.

MY NOW shifted. I was the focus of attention one moment, everyone anxious to buy something from me; but now the next moment I was a ghost. Everyone feared me, hid from me, avoided me, and certainly never would get caught talking to me.

Wow, what a wake up call that was in high school. Forget the sweet sixteen never been kissed fantasies we all heard about for those upper-middle class spoiled kids growing up in the American Northeast. I kissed in kindergarten! I had the cutest prettiest "girlfriend" through the elementary years, and then sex, "Experimenting" the summer I left elementary school. Suddenly everyone was sex happy in the 1970's, and considered me the expert?

My dad was ex-military and moved into the most densely populated state in the country to take the train into the city everyday. We got there from Puerto Rico after my younger sister was born. My older brother and I both spoke span-glish, so my mom was anxious to get us ready for school. She made sure my brother was reading and writing English really well when he started school. So when it was my turn to start in school, all the teachers said "Another Weaver, oh no, he knows everything already!"

Yeay, I made sure everyone of these teachers knew I was boss! They would fail me and complain, but not one kept me back a grade, they just wanted me out. By the time high school came along, I bought and sold everything, broke into anywhere and really was all powerful and fearless..... since no one had a clue about anything I did. BUT then the accident changed all that.

YES, I WAS PISSED, really pissed about my death. I felt I had only done what Spirit placed in front of me and took advantage of all that I ever saw. That is what American capitalism is all about; every book, TV, and Radio teaches us the American Dream. Heck, that was WHY it was here; for me to exploit it. Certainly, the greed and control I saw everywhere only encouraged me more. NOW, after my accident, it was all gone; I was alone and really pissed off about it..

Then I heard something about God! Yea sure, sounded like another con-job, more BS from our corrupt culture trying to exploit me. My Mom always warned me about voices in my head. She was psychic and into Edgar Casey a lot. She warned me how spirits could pretend to be of the Light and with drugs I was a target! Now, I was totally alone and could hear everything inside of me, as I would ALWAYS confront them. Mom said that anything of the Light would respond to the name of God. "Jesus Christ" was easy for me... what better WAY to start... lol. So anytime I heard anything inside of me, it would vanish at the name of Jesus Christ!

But then it didn't!

I was told to read the Prodigal Son story. Oh sure, I remember that, I have heard all this bible BS before, more capitalism trying to control. But this time the voice I heard in my head stayed; it didn't vanish when I asked for Jesus Christ . . . Then I was told that I WAS a Prodigal Son!

WHAT? Who me, a spoiled high school kid? Lol, ;-D)) sure I guess I exploited everything given to me! Burned it all up too, nothing escaped my wrath ... lol .... Ok SURE, I can buy this new story from the bible, so I'm the Prodigal Son ... I certainly exploited all my American Machine father gave to me and now I have died in a motorcycle accident and came back home. Based on this bible story, I now get some big party, like the best little calf roasted for me, since I came back home.... isn't that the right story!

YES SON, you must not steal or lie anymore

Oh sure, that's easy, no one believes me anyway now. With everyone watching me; stealing would be pretty stupid now. I can go along with this, come back home and be honest ... no big deal, but forget the little calf, I want a FAT RAM!

Yea, seems like after all I got away with and went through to get here, there must be something more to this. I mean, saved my ass from a mean motorcycle accident, so if GOD wants me here for real... I want a Fat Ram!

YES SON, you must not steal or lie anymore

Oh sure easy... lol... but I know I wont get some four legged hairy critter, Fat Ram or not, so what exactly will I get, if I play the good boy routine for some Source Spirit chatting in my head?

Dream about it, SON

For two years I dreamed, and I played the good little boy. I never did so well in school in my life. I started to journal all the time, this chatter in my head was like a party. No one else would talk with me, and I really wanted to write about these strange voices I heard and all they would tell me.

The week before it ended, I was sitting by a window eating lunch writing in my book. I wrote about this cute girl I saw driving by in a pickup truck. I always analyzed everything as I sat alone. I was thinking, wow it would be neat to have a girl who drove a truck. I was on a bike, after the motorcycle accident, my drivers license was suspended for years. So having a girl who drove a truck would be so cool, I could throw my bike into the back.

Of course, what else would a lonely teenage boy dream about? GIRLS!!!! Course, that only made the chatter in my head excited too!
And then I met her!
WOW.

She drove a little red Toyota pickup too, a tall, thin, barbie doll nursing student. I was still in high school, which made the experience even more fantastic. It was completely erotic and beyond comparison. I was lost in her totally. And the fantasy only escalated. I was ready to marry her; got her a ring and my dad said I was crazy. So I left home! A close friend was driving across the country after our graduation. So I offered to house-sit and take care of all their animals.

Mary and I moved into the house and the fantasy only went off the deep end. She worked part time at Lord & Taylor's and I worked as a Handyman fixing houses whenever I wanted to. We were alone in this big house playing around all day, taking time to nap and shower, but then back again loving every second of it . . . . lol . . .

Soon she wanted a child! Eeek, that was a big wake up call! A child, to raise a child as a Handyman? Are you crazy? Shit, what do I do now? So I decided this lazy afternoon, when she left for work, to sit and read through my journals . . . . and read, and read, and reread.

HOLD it, this all happened to me. Here I was reading about some fantasy of a girl I wanted, and then here I was living it. Oh my God, it was really freaking me out. Everything I wanted, everything I dreamed about for 2 years; was all here in the bedroom each night. Even the really far out fantasies of strawberries and whipped cream. Course, the pickup truck is the easiest to remark about... but two years of fantasies is really intense.

You got your fat ram, SON

Yea right... Suddenly I realized it... I HAD GOTTEN MY FAT RAM! Like, I got everything I dreamed about and it was all spewed out before me like I had made my three wishes on a genie bottle. But it was more like 300 wishes. I read and read and reread.... and that night over indulged again in the pleasures of the flesh, I sat up to look and see, wow it was more than I imagined. Cleaner, prettier, sweeter than I could ever dream of. Like sure, I dreamed of the thin, fine form in lace... lol... but she worked at Lord & Taylor's, which sets the standards on the best of lace! It was like the genie was drunk and spilled out every wish, every wild little detail, all of it spread out before me, like a spoiled brats smorgasbord.

The next morning I really had to come to terms with this! God wasn't just fooling around with me. The death I never remembered was surreal, but now, I'd really gotten my Fat Ram, so now what? My experiences of life and death weren't just some weird event people write books about. There was something more to this, and I needed to find out. So as I read over my journals again and again the phone rang.

"Good Morning"

"Oh hi dad, what do you want now?"

"Well I still want you to go to college, and your Mom and I decided that our business is doing well enough for us to move back to the tropics. You know your Mom hates the snow and cold up here. So we got out a map and started looking for a major airport in the tropics where I could still travel and work as I need to."

"Yea, so where are you going?"

"We found a brand new airport in Tampa, Florida; and your brother is down there to set up an office address now and start at a university. And we thought we might be able to get you to help us pack up and have a garage sale for us to move. Then if you want, you can come to Tampa with us and go to college down there."

"Oh so you want to hire me to help you move?"

"Well sure we can, but maybe we can give you room and board, instead of just paying you. Then we can send you down to visit your brother for a week and see if you want to go to college down there?"

"Oh ok?!?! Let me get back to you on this...."

"Fine, but we want to get down there during the summer so your younger brother and sister can get ready to start high school"

"Ok, I'll talk with you tomorrow about it"

That night when Mary got home from work, she asked about having a baby again and getting married. I told her I couldn't support a child as a Handyman, and I really did need to go to college. She said she was ready to have a child now, and really couldn't wait any longer, her clock was ticking.

The next morning, I went to my dad's and started a garage sale. It lasted a full month. The last week, I was giving things away, but I cleaned it out. I soon was living at my dad's house again and visiting Mary a few times back at her parents' house too. Her parents weren't too thrilled about her leaving home for a "handyman" either, so I could see it was likely better for both of us.

Now, I was "alone again" journaling. These voices in my head made their case clear. Obviously, I needed to take them a bit more seriously now. I mean, a Fat Ram fantasy wasn't the first experience I had of "getting what I asked for." I wanted to test and experiment with it more and found over and over again how much power and truth there was in it all. I mean, I totally freaked myself out a few times, manifesting and making people move and do things. Finally, I told Spirit I didn't like any of the fantasy angel stuff. If they wanted me, here on earth doing something for them, I wouldn't tolerate any fantasy spacey alien crap. I was here, in the now, and would only help out if I stayed in the NOW and not floating around with all this other crap!

There was this "Spirit team" coaching me. And it was really weird because they evidently didn't get too many people listening to them at this time. So I would tease them too. Sure they wanted me to write and listen, so I had the advantage.... I was here in NOW, and could do it for them! I wanted to know everything, how things worked, and how it could all work better... they started here: http://www.starsusa.org/equation.jpg and it only got crazier from there. They even asked me to publish all I wrote. I just laughed, and told them to find a journalist, I was here to DO something, not just write about it.

Down the road from Mary's house was this little college pub. We would go dancing there all the time. One night, I was having a beer and some comic was harassing this poor guy in the front. The guy had a dark tan up here in NJ, where it was still too cold out, so the comic was asking him questions. And I heard him say he went to USF, the same university in Tampa that I was going to visit next week. I went over to talk to the guy.

"Yes, I go to school in Tampa. When you get there, find the Sig-Ep Fraternity; we always have the biggest parties. And just say you're with Jersey Frank"

That's when I realized whatever Spirit wanted me to do... was in a University.... IN TAMPA!!!! And I knew I had to do it! Cause, I could do anything!!!! The university is the only place you can really interact with all segments of our society and culture.... to influence and CHANGE them...

The next week IN Tampa... I took my brother's bike from his apartment and road out to USF. Wow, what a place... it felt like an amusement park. Of course, Busch Gardens is next door too... lol... which IS a big amusement park. Yes, USF => University of Sun and Fun.... lol...

The first thing I noticed was the songs on the radio would sing to me.... like mirroring how I felt every moment. That was weird (still happens now with www.TheJoyFm.com). THEY told me I could adopt "God's Perception" and everything would click like that. And the more I did the weirder it got.

And Jersey Frank was like the football star quarterback. Lucky me! It honestly felt like high school again, before my accident.... like being right in the middle of everything, everyone looking up to me all over again. Lol, and these clowns down here were just starting out... just learning how to do all that I over-did up north.

It was like a time-warp. NOW the fun really began!!!!!!!!

I AM in Tampa 1982 let's start: http://www.starsusa.org/homestead/files/Dreams.htm and replace "dreams" with: start.htm, Transit.htm, Farming.htm, Community.htm, Science.htm, DEGREE.htm . . lol. . .

End of ME chapter ONE!